Well things are progressing well with new Kyle. Our second date was amazing. Got to see his fabulous house that I am absolutely in love with. His decorating taste is exceptional. His dogs are really sweet and the puppy likes me a lot. He is very thoughful and sweet, definitely someone who puts his lady first. I realize spending time with Kyle that I feel like myself, very open and comfortable with him. Apparently my being comfortable is very obvious because he even mentioned how confident and secure with myself I am. That was a new one for me since I'm usually insecure about myself when dating. He admitted he liked me first and I reciprocated. Then something else happened, I recognized that my emotions have come back to existance. They are still safely locked away but I sense their presence. This is an exciting discovery since I've been without feelings for a long time and was not sure they would come back. Apparently I just needed to meet the right person to heal the wounds left by my last relationship. I'm not ready to open that box yet until I feel that there is a good chance for Kyle and I to have potential for a relationship. But I hear a faint knocking of my heart and with assurance from him I'll let myself learn to feel again.
Our third date was just as good. We went out to dinner, he opens my doors for me and held my hand in public. We were able to talk and get to know each other more and I'm really liking him, which I told him. This kind of comfort is new and I want to say what I am thinking and be very up front about what I want from the beginning. His life is a bit of the opposite from mine, in that he is so busy with work, friends, travel. He's lived all over, done so many cool things in his life. I feel I'm a bit boring compared to him but maybe between the two of us we can find a happy medium of a chill and busy life. He's informed me that he is picky and only wants to marry once and find the right person. Funny how that sounds like me, time to ask and explore what we are looking for and picky about and maybe we've found what we are looking for.
I will say I'm trying to play this as cool as I can. I know he is extremely busy so I give him lots of space, don't text every day and let him make the moves to ask me out. I enjoy it more if he is the one pursuing but I'm about ready to sit down and talk about the potential of a more committed relationship. I want to feel again and need the green light to allow myself to let that happen. But happy to find out I'm not dead. Times are changing!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
There is a Stir
First it turns out my ex was nothing like the person I thought he was. He was a sweet, kind, romantic, thoughful guy. After the breakup we would touch base and I thought we could be friends like I have will all other past relationships. Nope, he has proven to be a rude jerk that I can't really call a friend. Situation was I saw a Facebook post that he was having a house warming party and because I am friends with some of his friends I was able to see it even though I was not actually invited. Just to be funny I sent a message giving him a hard time about not being invited and going to be a party crasher. It was all in good fun, but his reaction was not to respond back and make the party private as if it no longer existed. I was beyond annoyed and went back and forth on whether to say something to him. He could have gone any number of routes that would have been less rude relating to not being invited. This low blow has made me rethink our entire relationship and that it now feels like it was all a lie and he never cared at all. Guess I can't be too crushed since its over and I now really know I deserve better than him. Ok had to get that little rant off my chest, on to more interesting things.
Ok so yes I'm not trying to date, but I don't say no if an opportunity presents itself. Case in point I was setup by my aunt with the brother of the guy marrying my cousin. Even though the guy was divorced, with a kid and 10 years my junior and agreed because I know it makes other people happy when I say yes to setups, this also included his very happy mother. We had a really nice evening and ended up talking until late. There were many things and ideas we had in common but for me it was hard to overlook the age gap. I could feel it in the way he has yet to discover himself and know what career to pursue and finding a living situation away from his parents. Its ok to be young but I don't want to have to take a step backwards from how far I've come in my own life. I do not want to support another person, I want to be taken care of. It was nice and fun, so think that made it a successful date and the ball is completely in his court. So far he has yet to make contact.
But something new happened last week. I met a guy on Match that I found quite attractive, great emails and was really looking forward to meeting. Even though I was sick that week, I still went through with the date. Lucky for me he had also been sick, so I didn't feel as bad to be sniffling and coughing through with the date. We met at Henry's (love that place) and he looked a bit different from his pictures, not bad just different which surprised me, plus he was shorter looking in person. (its been awhile since I dated someone closer to my height) Dinner was great, we had tons of things to talk about and he was very open and honest and tried to get the same from me. Note to self, I need to come up with better questions to ask lol. Anyway we talked and flirted until he needed to head home to let his dogs out. Like a gentleman he walked me to my car which was in a parking garage. Then he asked if he could kiss me, because he wanted to know what my lips felt like. Kind of cute, but sadly the kiss was not. See the post prior to this one on tips for kissing. Kissed maybe 5 times and it needs some work which was a let down but everything else was great so I'm still in. He headed to Hawaii for a week and I've already twice put myself out there in text so now I'm off the grid and quiet to see if he makes contact when he returns. I want to find someone who puts the time and effort in to pursue me. I want to be chased, so we'll see.
In reference to the post title, this is the first time I have felt actual interest in a date and want to see where it goes. It's been a long time since I have felt something, feelings of any kind and I don't really know what to do with it. First it made me want to pursue him which is never a good idea, followed by feelings of loneliness and really wanting someone in my life. I had forgotten the excitement dating can bring. Until now guys have been nice but I haven't felt for them and got the same response back in the right way. Definitely have felt a stir, not sure what I'm suppose to do with it, but I'm happy that it can return and exist again. I should throw out there that this guy's name is also Kyle (as in Kyle the ex) I've taken to nicknaming him new Kyle and I think I'm open to seeing if I can repair some the damage left by old Kyle by putting myself out there to date new Kyle. Jury is out on this one if there will be more dates, but he made enough references to let me hope that there will be. As per usual I'm already doubting and coming up with reasons why it won't work out. I really am my own worse enemy. Hoping I can stay open and confident and just give myself the opportunity to get out there and try actually 'dating' a person. Regardless of the outcome I need to try to have more experiences like this one. Changes are good and I need a fresh start with boys.
Ok so yes I'm not trying to date, but I don't say no if an opportunity presents itself. Case in point I was setup by my aunt with the brother of the guy marrying my cousin. Even though the guy was divorced, with a kid and 10 years my junior and agreed because I know it makes other people happy when I say yes to setups, this also included his very happy mother. We had a really nice evening and ended up talking until late. There were many things and ideas we had in common but for me it was hard to overlook the age gap. I could feel it in the way he has yet to discover himself and know what career to pursue and finding a living situation away from his parents. Its ok to be young but I don't want to have to take a step backwards from how far I've come in my own life. I do not want to support another person, I want to be taken care of. It was nice and fun, so think that made it a successful date and the ball is completely in his court. So far he has yet to make contact.
But something new happened last week. I met a guy on Match that I found quite attractive, great emails and was really looking forward to meeting. Even though I was sick that week, I still went through with the date. Lucky for me he had also been sick, so I didn't feel as bad to be sniffling and coughing through with the date. We met at Henry's (love that place) and he looked a bit different from his pictures, not bad just different which surprised me, plus he was shorter looking in person. (its been awhile since I dated someone closer to my height) Dinner was great, we had tons of things to talk about and he was very open and honest and tried to get the same from me. Note to self, I need to come up with better questions to ask lol. Anyway we talked and flirted until he needed to head home to let his dogs out. Like a gentleman he walked me to my car which was in a parking garage. Then he asked if he could kiss me, because he wanted to know what my lips felt like. Kind of cute, but sadly the kiss was not. See the post prior to this one on tips for kissing. Kissed maybe 5 times and it needs some work which was a let down but everything else was great so I'm still in. He headed to Hawaii for a week and I've already twice put myself out there in text so now I'm off the grid and quiet to see if he makes contact when he returns. I want to find someone who puts the time and effort in to pursue me. I want to be chased, so we'll see.
In reference to the post title, this is the first time I have felt actual interest in a date and want to see where it goes. It's been a long time since I have felt something, feelings of any kind and I don't really know what to do with it. First it made me want to pursue him which is never a good idea, followed by feelings of loneliness and really wanting someone in my life. I had forgotten the excitement dating can bring. Until now guys have been nice but I haven't felt for them and got the same response back in the right way. Definitely have felt a stir, not sure what I'm suppose to do with it, but I'm happy that it can return and exist again. I should throw out there that this guy's name is also Kyle (as in Kyle the ex) I've taken to nicknaming him new Kyle and I think I'm open to seeing if I can repair some the damage left by old Kyle by putting myself out there to date new Kyle. Jury is out on this one if there will be more dates, but he made enough references to let me hope that there will be. As per usual I'm already doubting and coming up with reasons why it won't work out. I really am my own worse enemy. Hoping I can stay open and confident and just give myself the opportunity to get out there and try actually 'dating' a person. Regardless of the outcome I need to try to have more experiences like this one. Changes are good and I need a fresh start with boys.
Lesson on Kissing
It amazes me how the world is full of either good kissers or bad kissers. Not really much in between. A large chunk of college was full of many bad kissers with a few surprise good ones. As I have gotten older, more experienced, I realize that one cannot ignore how a person kisses. Yes you can train someone to improve but that will never be their natural way of kissing. Every guy I have seriously liked and dated has been the most amazing kissers, one of the many reasons I liked them. But nothing is worse than being interested in a guy and your first kiss with them is terrible, kind of ruins everything. A first kiss should be a simple peck on the lips, period! No mouth wide open, tongue down the throat, face licking, crazy weird intense for the first kiss you have had with this person. Complete turn off and kind of creepy too. Maybe there are other bad kissers out there who also like kissing to be that way, hopefully they find each other and live happily ever after. But I'm looking for sweet, romantic and kind in the man I kiss because I feel it says a lot about them as a person. Yes kissing can and should be passionate, but not right out of the gate. In a perfect world, which as happened before, this is my lesson on how kissing should be.....
First kiss is a peck, short and simple. The guy kisses you. The second kiss you kiss him back, again a sweet peck. Then you are both on the same page of liking each other and wanting to kiss. Continue with more kissing where the pecks are longing, held out and then with feeling. A long kiss is very sexy. Especially when with the break you look into each others eyes and they touch your face then pull you closer for another kiss. I should say that this kind of sweet innocent kissing can go on for a long time just as is. But when there is feeling and emotion you take the next step. Still like a peck but with your mouth slightly open. Then that proceeds to quick slip/tease with the tongue and then to actual french kissing. The trick to a good makeout is to be able to pull back when things start getting really steamy and being back at the beginning. Slowly, calming down just give each other a peck. Then start all over. The fast/slow approach is most effective at being both sexy and romantic. If things start rushing too fast or going too far, then you back off to the beginning and go back to slow.
Sometimes in a relationship where more than kissing is involved it gets kind of left behind and overlooked. Yes other things are super fun but nothing is more intimate than sharing your feelings through being close and kissing someone. Like telling a story of romance with your lips. A kiss can say hello and goodbye, kiss away tears and fears, be full of bliss and happiness, reconnect people back together, say I Love You without words and so many more things. If a kiss can do so much it explains why it is so important that its magical with the person you are with. For someone who holds it at high importance, it is top of my must have list.
Maybe not everyone agrees with me, but this is how I see it and hope to find in my own life.
First kiss is a peck, short and simple. The guy kisses you. The second kiss you kiss him back, again a sweet peck. Then you are both on the same page of liking each other and wanting to kiss. Continue with more kissing where the pecks are longing, held out and then with feeling. A long kiss is very sexy. Especially when with the break you look into each others eyes and they touch your face then pull you closer for another kiss. I should say that this kind of sweet innocent kissing can go on for a long time just as is. But when there is feeling and emotion you take the next step. Still like a peck but with your mouth slightly open. Then that proceeds to quick slip/tease with the tongue and then to actual french kissing. The trick to a good makeout is to be able to pull back when things start getting really steamy and being back at the beginning. Slowly, calming down just give each other a peck. Then start all over. The fast/slow approach is most effective at being both sexy and romantic. If things start rushing too fast or going too far, then you back off to the beginning and go back to slow.
Sometimes in a relationship where more than kissing is involved it gets kind of left behind and overlooked. Yes other things are super fun but nothing is more intimate than sharing your feelings through being close and kissing someone. Like telling a story of romance with your lips. A kiss can say hello and goodbye, kiss away tears and fears, be full of bliss and happiness, reconnect people back together, say I Love You without words and so many more things. If a kiss can do so much it explains why it is so important that its magical with the person you are with. For someone who holds it at high importance, it is top of my must have list.
Maybe not everyone agrees with me, but this is how I see it and hope to find in my own life.
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