So back in March my cousin Jenny had sent me the name of a guy she knew who was single. I looked him up on Facebook, he seemed nice and so I friended him. I was not in any dating mood and he never wrote so I forgot about it. Then June 2nd I got a message from him asking what my relationship status was. I posted single and I guess my cousin had been bugging him to write to me because she thought we could be best friends. We started Facebook messaging that day and it has never stopped. I went through all of his photos to see what I think and I was cautious at first, but the more we got to know each other the more I changed. Todd Davis is the cutest, handsome, most wonderful guy ever. But let me start at the beginning.
Our message conversations were easy, random, funny and informative. I'm not even sure what is was but everything just flowed. We chatted online daily and it got better with each day. About two weeks in we decided to have a Skype date, a first for me. The idea of getting to see him face to face and hear him talk and move had me panicked. How many times in the past have I built up good conversation and connection with a guy online only to meet him in person and have no attraction at all. I knew that seeing him on Skype would make or break where things went from there. When we met on Skype and I went from being interested in this guy, to actually liking him. Sadly my Kindle decided to have issues about 5 minutes into things and so the other 10ish minutes we could hear each other but no visual. I'll admit after that date I really hoped that he liked me, now that I was sure I wanted to continue pursuing this. That weekend was quiet with not a lot of talking and I started to worry, but there was no reason because by Monday things were back to the same and we just kept on talking. Then Thursday we had our 2nd date and that was the moment everything changed for me. We Skype for 2 hours that night and have been on Skype every day since, sometimes even more than once a day and they can last 15 minutes to hours. There is nothing we have not talked about. We've even done both the Love Language and Color Code quizzes together. We are a lot alike and I think that is why we get along so well and really balance each other. I am completely myself with him. Half the time I'm showered, hair not done and makeup free when we Skype. I always tell him I only get prettier. He thinks the world of me and I am so unbelievably happy sometimes I think I might burst! He was talking about coming to visit me shortly after we started chatting and after our third Skype date he bought his tickets. When we picked the dates they did not seem very far away, but now that we are so into each other the wait is terrible. As I am writing this we have 24 more days before we get to meet in person and I can't wait.
As I mentioned we talk about everything and being that he is two states away we have been able to build a great friendship and good foundation without all the distractions that come when you are in person. We are both excited to add the physical dimension to this relationship, but knowing that when we do we have spent the time and effort to create a perfect foundation beforehand. The waiting is hard but getting to be together is worth being patient. The plan is I will have a ridiculous glitter poster waiting for him at the airport. He will see me, I'll run into his arms, he'll pick me up and kiss me for the first time. I get chills just writing and thinking about it. We want the same thing, and meeting with be the missing piece to what the future holds for us. Nothing is complete until you have been in each other presence, spent time doing activities and really breathed each others space. There is always the possibility that for some reason it doesn't work, but with the fact that we Skype daily and see each other when we talk I think that is a slim chance. We have talked about it and we both are feeling the outcome will be a positive one when we meet and from there everything else will fall into place.
I have spent a long time waiting and hoping and losing my hope and then trying to find it again. I didn't know how it would be to meet the right one. Everything is fun and easy and natural, I've met someone who understand and loves me, flaws and all. We compliment each other and I can just enjoy each moment. I do not worry or stress about him like I've done with every other guy I've met. I know what he is thinking and where we are at. We are open and honest with each other trying to prove we can trust one another and building hope of a future together. I don't doubt and have complete faith that I have found the right person for me and am grateful and happy.
I few days ago I started to feel my heart trying to feel and it has overwhelmed me. I am afraid but willing to take the leap into the unknown and finally open my heart back up again to feel and love someone and I think Todd is the one who could be the keeper of my heart. I must close my eyes and jump, I cannot hesitate! So many others have hurt me, one of them so deeply I never thought I could love someone again and here I am freaking out that I have to come out of the dark and trust that I am on the right path and open myself up again. The more I realize I have to let him into my heart the more I know I can be hurt because I am vulnerable. But like I've quoted " to love is to be vulnerable" and that is what I must do I allow my heart to love fully and completely.
Ok I got the poetic part out. There is so much hope here and I cherish every day. Today is the one month mark of our meeting and it has been a wonderful time. The countdown to meeting has begun and I cannot wait for what comes next!
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Time to catch up
I honestly can't believe 6 months has past and I've completely forgotten to update this blog. Let's go back to things you have missed. The guy I was writing came home from his mission. I've bumped into him a few times at church things, talked and such, but we have never hung out together. I think he's cute and very easy to talk to, but he is very young. He will head off to school in a few months and that will be that. He already switched to the single ward so I don't see him at all. I've thought about seeing if he wants to go hiking, but he's back hanging out with people his own age doing activities and I think that is for the best. I'm in a different phase of life and would not enjoy the thought of rewinding where I have gotten myself to. But it was nice having someone to write to and I really enjoyed it.
After that will just say there was a really long pause..........No dating or anything guy related, just the way it needed to be. I have spent a lot of this year trying to better myself and focus on being happy in the present like I have. Honestly I have never been happier. I love going to work, the gym, doing projects and relaxing at home. I spend time at my parents almost weekly and we have really built up a great relationship we are all enjoying. I visited my sister. My best friend Kacie came to visit me, life is good.
I feel I need to interject that for the first time in my life I am free from holding on to any feelings towards guys. There has always been a guy that I am somehow holding out hope for. But the start of 2014 also brought will it complete independence from any attachments to others. My heart is still locked away, but my head is clear. It was probably for this reason that on a whim I decided to rejoin Match. I know you all feel the shock that I would go back again or maybe you knew I would eventually cave. They were having a discount on the membership and I figured that was a good enough excuse. I went in thinking I would play it low-key and make the men make more of the effort. Being back was about the same, people you don't like emailing you and the one's you like not responding back. I paid for three months with the intent that if it sucked just as bad then I would officially be done with this site. It had crossed my mind even to try some other online dating sites if this didn't pan out.
I started talking to a few people and got asked out on a date. Granted I had not been on a Match date in over 6 months and was hoping it would go well. He seemed nice, but I wasn't really feeling the attraction. We did dinner and talking and pretty much he insulted me the entire time. I understand that by not dating people of my own religion there will always be some difference of opinion. Oh no, my ideas were insulted, I apparently dressed way to conservatively and way shamed for it several times. I was wearing a new blouse, skinny jeans and boots. But I suppose my top covered my arms and almost went to my neck. I was going for cute and fashionable and apparently to this guy I was being a prude. Not sure what he was wanting but I'm not the kind of person to dress like a slut on a first date with a stranger. I tried to ignore the issues and have a nice time. The date abruptly ended when we said how tired he was and that was that, never heard from him again, thankfully. Afterward I had to call my best friend and discuss the date because I could not figure out what just happened. She informed me he was rude, but in the actual date it came off as just being weird. She assured me it was not being out of dating practice but that the guy was a total jerk. Great way to start online dates again!
About a week later a guy I had been emailing for awhile asked if we should me. I met him in Portland at a fun restaurant. Granted this was a much better date. Again I wasn't really feeling any attraction vibes outside of the fact he was really nice and I liked hanging out with him. His boss was Mormon and so he texted him that he was out with a Primary President. The boss responded that he should marry me immediately lol! It's nice when people understand where you come from. My date was quite amused by all of it. At the end of the date he even walked me the several blocks to the car. There was discussion of a second date and then the night was over. It was nice to go out and just have a good time with someone. This restored my hope in things after that last date. He never emailed or texted me again and that is answer enough. Pursue if you are interested, otherwise let it go and hope for someone else.
After that date I again started to lose interest in the whole dating thing and all the effort it takes. Each person you begin to email and then talk about meeting is both a lot of effort and a risk without usually any reward. But I still hope to meet someone someday and this seems to be the only option. There are still a few nice ones I email almost more like a friend and I am content with that for now.
After that will just say there was a really long pause..........No dating or anything guy related, just the way it needed to be. I have spent a lot of this year trying to better myself and focus on being happy in the present like I have. Honestly I have never been happier. I love going to work, the gym, doing projects and relaxing at home. I spend time at my parents almost weekly and we have really built up a great relationship we are all enjoying. I visited my sister. My best friend Kacie came to visit me, life is good.
I feel I need to interject that for the first time in my life I am free from holding on to any feelings towards guys. There has always been a guy that I am somehow holding out hope for. But the start of 2014 also brought will it complete independence from any attachments to others. My heart is still locked away, but my head is clear. It was probably for this reason that on a whim I decided to rejoin Match. I know you all feel the shock that I would go back again or maybe you knew I would eventually cave. They were having a discount on the membership and I figured that was a good enough excuse. I went in thinking I would play it low-key and make the men make more of the effort. Being back was about the same, people you don't like emailing you and the one's you like not responding back. I paid for three months with the intent that if it sucked just as bad then I would officially be done with this site. It had crossed my mind even to try some other online dating sites if this didn't pan out.
I started talking to a few people and got asked out on a date. Granted I had not been on a Match date in over 6 months and was hoping it would go well. He seemed nice, but I wasn't really feeling the attraction. We did dinner and talking and pretty much he insulted me the entire time. I understand that by not dating people of my own religion there will always be some difference of opinion. Oh no, my ideas were insulted, I apparently dressed way to conservatively and way shamed for it several times. I was wearing a new blouse, skinny jeans and boots. But I suppose my top covered my arms and almost went to my neck. I was going for cute and fashionable and apparently to this guy I was being a prude. Not sure what he was wanting but I'm not the kind of person to dress like a slut on a first date with a stranger. I tried to ignore the issues and have a nice time. The date abruptly ended when we said how tired he was and that was that, never heard from him again, thankfully. Afterward I had to call my best friend and discuss the date because I could not figure out what just happened. She informed me he was rude, but in the actual date it came off as just being weird. She assured me it was not being out of dating practice but that the guy was a total jerk. Great way to start online dates again!
About a week later a guy I had been emailing for awhile asked if we should me. I met him in Portland at a fun restaurant. Granted this was a much better date. Again I wasn't really feeling any attraction vibes outside of the fact he was really nice and I liked hanging out with him. His boss was Mormon and so he texted him that he was out with a Primary President. The boss responded that he should marry me immediately lol! It's nice when people understand where you come from. My date was quite amused by all of it. At the end of the date he even walked me the several blocks to the car. There was discussion of a second date and then the night was over. It was nice to go out and just have a good time with someone. This restored my hope in things after that last date. He never emailed or texted me again and that is answer enough. Pursue if you are interested, otherwise let it go and hope for someone else.
After that date I again started to lose interest in the whole dating thing and all the effort it takes. Each person you begin to email and then talk about meeting is both a lot of effort and a risk without usually any reward. But I still hope to meet someone someday and this seems to be the only option. There are still a few nice ones I email almost more like a friend and I am content with that for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)