So my date with Jon went really well. I met him for dinner and we talked for hours until it was late. We made plans to met up again that weekend. Several days later we went out to dinner followed by minature golf in the dark. Again conversation was just so easy and I completely feel like myself. Jon hinted at interest on our second date and even kissed my goodnight! We made plans for the coming Monday where I went over to his house and we watched a movie. I like him and very much enjoy getting to talk to him.
I should add that same weekend and I had a few more dates. Prior to my date with Jon and spent the entire day with Ryan and two of his friends boating the Willamette. That was a first for me and his friends girl he brought was super cool. I must say I always enjoy meeting new people, especially really cool and interesting women. We ran all along side Portland, had lunch on a sandy spot then chilled in the sun. Other than a little mishap with the boat breaking down it was a really fun time. Ryan acts super interested and I'm not sure what I think. As I friend he is awesome with lots of hobbies and interests and friends that I would like to be a part of, just not sure I want to be anything more than that.
Sunday I met Jeff for the first time. I drove out to his parents property and we did a little shooting with his siblings and then enjoyed dinner with most of his family. An unconventional date for sure, but very fun. His family was amazing, so much so I'd love to be included with them. Because we were never alone I didn't get to really ask Jeff questions and get to know him better but we talked about hanging out again and maybe hiking which would give the opportunity to connect.
In all this time going on dates, as much as it consumes my time every one of them has been very enjoyable. It is fun to do lots of activities with an array of personalities. Each person brings out sides of me and helps to understand myself better. Thankfully I went on vacation soon after all these dates to get a well needed break. While I was away I realized that maybe I don't want to be doing so much dating as too many guys are interested in being more than friends and I can't keep that balanced. Also I've been struggling with my feelings regarding Kyle, I still want to be with him even with all these new prospects. Dating causes me to miss him more and I can't help but wish for how things used to be. And yet I think that all the back to back dating has let me practice all my new skills and I'm more open and vocal than ever before. I definitely needed the practice.
While I was gone each guy lightly kept in touch and said they wanted to hang out once I returned. When I got back I reclaimed my personal time and have decided that weekdays are for me and weekends for available for dates to help keep things balanced. I wanted to be open with each guy that I was not ready for any serious and just wanted to keep things casual and fun. First person to have an issue was Karl who asked if I was seeing other people, did not take it well and wanted me to be his only. We went back and forth and I'm not wanting to start something with someone unless I am really feeling it and with Karl we didn't get enough time to get to know each other and he was moving faster than I was ready.
Ryan took me out for a motorcycle ride which was amazing, I so miss that. We had a nice time and then went to have dinner where I told him I was not ready to be serious with anyone, that I enjoyed hanging out but was still seeing other people. He seemed fine with it and the night continued. 4 bars, clubbing and adding people to the group it turned into a crazy late night. He then changed his tune to not feeling he knew the real me, to wanting to be my number one person, etc. Not the night I wanted and kind of ruined the nice beginning. He does not have the same kind of lifestyle and I am not wanting to be in an environment thats not me. Its fun once in a while to do something different and out of the box, but I think Ryan and I are just too different and I feel pressure to want and be something I'm not. Maybe if we can get to more friends only we can continue to spend time together doing fun activities, if not things might be to there end.
The next day I had a completely opposite date with Jon. We played disc golf in a park then dinner and movie at his house. I am still surprised at how easy he is to talk to. We never run out of topics, nothing is held back and I feel relaxed to just be me. My dates with Jon are what I had wished my dating life had been like when I was younger. He is sweet, fun and respectful. We don't talk or text much outside of when we are hanging out and I think that makes it better. We have real communication and a connection. I look forward to the next time we hangout. But then I am having some setbacks to all the this....
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