Why?

Quick catch up.  I went out with Jon a few more times but could not ever really be completely into him.  He is a great guy, fun to hang with but I just don't feel enough to continue.  It would be one thing if we hung out just as friends but with kissing involved that made things more serious.  I think he might wondered but we only texted maybe once a week before we hung out so it was an easy transition.  Jeff stills pops up occasionally to hang out.  He is nice to spend time with but I can tell he likes me more than a friend and I'm just not interested in him that way.  As long as we can just stay as friends I'm still open to hanging out.  Also Karl will text every so often to say hi.

On other news Zack got married yesterday, Kyle will not return my calls and Brett has become busy with wrestling and his girlfriend.  All my exs have left me and moved on, why can't I?  I still talk to guys on match.com and that keeps my mind occupied.  I went on a date yesterday with a guy I was interested in but not sure what happened because he stood me up.  He had confirmed our date which makes me think something happened to cause the no show.  But because there were so many things on my mind it just added fuel to my anger.  I feel that I keep trying and yet it blows up in my face over and over again.  I am broken from Kyle and trying to repair and move on but every guy after does not add up to him and then disappoints in some way.  Not sure with that how I'll ever recover.

If I could I would love to stamp out that last piece of hope I have over finding someone.  I think it would be so much easier to completely give up and move on.  But somehow I'll meet someone online and I get the slightest hope that just maybe this one could be it.  So even when I try it seems impossible to let if go completely.  With all that being said I am trying to move on to other changes in my life including buying a house.  I plan on marrying my house and letting it take top priority in my life.  Something to help give me a new focus.