Waiting

It's two and a half weeks until my date with Dustin.  I'm both excited, nervous and trying not to overthink it.  We've texted and he just says fun things and great at flirting.  He's going to Alaska and playfully said 'come with;)' and that we can go together the next time.  Of course we can discuss after our post 7/30, all of which sounds good to me.  I like that his comments make me feel special and that he definitely seems to be a take charge kind of guy.  But as excited as I am the voice of uncertainty gives me a moments pause.  I've had people play games many times and they can start out like this and then quickly die off into nothing.  I hope that when we meet there are sparks and interest on both sides.  I begin to doubt that things will work out for whatever reason and realize I hold myself back and create the problem.  I need to learn to rethink meeting people and go with an open mind that maybe the next one could be it (rather than all the reasons it might not work) before I meet them.  I worry too much and I'm trying to find a way to let go and see every person as potential and stay out of my head.  If I can't change my thinking the result will continue to be the same because I'm putting out a negative vibe to the universe.  I need to remind myself that I would never say yes to someone I'm not 100% into, so there is no reason to fear being 100% out there for the person to get to know me.  Fingers crossed that this date goes well!

I've decided to give up on Brett and let that go.  He barely texts anymore and getting him to go see a movie has been way too difficult.  This proves my point that I don't want to waste my time on guys who will make no effort to date me.  I want the person I end up with to be someone who moved heaven and earth to make the time for me and made me a priority as that is what I deserve.  I am a bit disappointed as I would have liked for us to have given dating a chance, but he has yet to step up so I'll let it go.

I'm in a good place mentally.  I'm excited about the upcoming date but staying very reserved and I'm ok with my life currently.  I'm back to working on house projects and have enjoyed my time at home.  Hopefully I can branch out even more and get outside and enjoy the summer as well.  But I'm ok with guys not being in my life for now and I am happy.