The weekend visit

Well I survived the weekend away to visit Kiel. I had a great time overall. Got to go golfing, see a few good movies and have some relaxing downtime. I enjoyed having some guy attention and have already decided I'm missing it. It was nice to just be able to hangout with someone you like and can have a good time with. There were a lot of things I really liked about him and then some things that didn't quite gel together. I've decided that what really matters is for the first time in my life I'm dating the normal way. Yes the overall start of dating is more unconventional, but it seems to be becoming more normal in this day and age. It only took 10 years but now I am meeting nice guys, that I think are cute, and that I have interest in. Whether they work out or not isn't the point, just that I'm finally getting the opportunity to date potential guys.

Yes I'm still my crazy self sometimes that likes to sabotage things, but I figure with enough dating practice that might lessen until its no longer an issue. Also I think I know what it is that I am looking for and with enough opportunities to date I will be able find someone with those traits. Of course no person will have everything, but its good to realize what parts are most important. It really is the little things, not what's on some 'perfect guy list' but a feeling that you recognize when you are with someone who has it, or who doesn't. And until you get to meet someone in person and get to know them you just cannot know if they are what you want. This is really what you are looking for....someone who moves on your same wave length. They get you, understand your way of thinking, mirror your ideas, it's any number of things. Those times where you meet someone and go, "we just get each other," thats what I'm looking for. Everyone is different with separate interests and tastes, but it's how you feel in the way you communicate and react to one another that makes a difference.

I don't think I have found what I'm looking for yet. As much as I like Kiel and would love to get to spend more time hanging out I don't think it will go farther than that. There are some things for me that are very important and what I want in the future relationship that weren'tquite there. It is nothing against him, just not quite the right fit for various reasons. I am proud that I am still willing to take risks to meet people and get to know them to see what might come of my efforts. Hopefully one day it will all pay off!